Gratitude — How Giving Thanks Made Me Happier and More Content

I started writing gratitude lists in my early twenties. I was depressed AF and had heard about the many benefits that come from expressing gratitude.

Some of the benefits include:

• Reduced Stress
• Feeling more positive
• Strengthened relationships
• Improved overall health
• A reduced risk of depression

It didn’t work — I was still miserable. Every time I sat down to write in my journal I found myself struggling to find genuine appreciation for things and resorted to flippant entries (these entries are so bad that I’m ashamed to post them here).

I realize now that I was using gratitude to gaslight myself into thinking everything was fine by avoiding and diminishing difficult emotions that arose. At the time, I thought being happy meant I needed to be positive all the time and gratitude would magically transform my state of mind (I’ve since realized this isn’t what happiness is about and there’s a huge difference between experiencing sadness and spiraling into a rabbit hole of negative self-deprecating thoughts).

A few years ago, while in a secondhand book store, I found The Source by Dr. Tara Swart, a Neuroscientist and Senior Lecturer at MIT. This book explores the science behind The Law of Attraction. As with many of the self-help books I had encountered over the years, a key concept that stood out was the importance of cultivating a gratitude mindset by consciously focusing on and appreciating the positive aspects of life to enhance our overall well-being.

After reading The Source, still somewhat skeptical, I came across the following from the Greater Good Science Centre at UCLA—Berkely regarding gratitude journals:

People who wrote in a Gratitude Journal weekly for 10 weeks or daily for two weeks experienced more gratitude, positive moods, and optimism about the future, as well as better sleep, compared to those who journaled about hassles or their daily life (Greater Good Science Center — Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2003). Counting blessings versus burdens: An experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84(2), 377–389.https://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/gratitude_journal#:~:text=People%20who%20wrote%20in%20a,hassles%20or%20their%20daily%20life.

Motivated by these insights, I committed to giving gratitude another shot. I aimed for a month-long practice, listing three things I was grateful for each day.

I reminded myself my practice didn’t need to be perfect — life happens, and there may be days I forget to journal or I’m too tired (due to my tendency to be all-or-nothing I was mindful about setting rigid expectations that would lead to self-judgment). I also made sure to not only focus on the positives but also embrace the challenges I encountered.

During this attempt, things changed. The initial goal of listing three things I was grateful for turned into five, and I found myself taking the time to truly reflect on my day and finding the things I was grateful for — even if the day hadn’t been great.

I found out that my entries were no longer flippant, instead, they were focused on the seemingly insignificant things I habitually overlooked (having clean drinkable tap water, the ability to afford groceries, and the ability to afford, breakfast at a café).

After a few months of consistently writing gratitude lists, I began to witness noticeable shifts in my mindset.

• I was more content with what I had, shifting away from a constant focus on what I lacked. I also stopped comparing myself to others.
• I was more attuned to the present moment — embracing the beauty of the here and now. For those of us with PTSD, anxiety, and depression this can be incredibly difficult. I hadn’t noticed the shift until I was having lunch at a food stall while traveling and realized I wasn’t glued to my phone.
• My internal monologue transformed and I also noticed positive changes in my relationships. I had become less self-critical and attentive.
• It was easier for me to reframe and refocus my thoughts when things didn’t go my way. Instead of dismissing my emotions by saying “others have it worse” I developed the capacity to pause, reflect, and gain clarity on my distress ( I was always able to figure out the root cause of why I felt like I did, but that my brain had already jumped on the Automatic Negative Thoughts express)
• I found myself naturally embracing a more optimistic outlook.

In these photos of myself throughout the years, the transformation in my mindset is evident. I have a genuine smile for the first time in ages — a reflection of the inner contentment I have started to cultivate. I would

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