Conquering Automatic Negative Thoughts: My Journey to Overcoming ANTs
A core belief I have is that I’m not good enough. Whenever something negative would happen my internal monologue would pop up with shit like: “You’re so stupid,” “Of course, this would happen to you,” “People are just pretending to be your friends — they don’t like you,” “This is all your fault,” “ You’re unloveable.”
During one of these moments, I wondered if there were any Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) strategies I could use to help reframe my thoughts. So, sitting in bed, phone in hand, I googled ‘negative thoughts CBT’ and found articles on Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs).
I briefly touched on the concept of ANTs in my post about gratitude, and today I want to dive a bit deeper into what they are and share my strategies for dealing with them in the hopes you find my experience helpful.
What are Automatic Negative Thoughts?
Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs) are negative thoughts that arise automatically and habitually in response to specific situations.
They are involuntary reactions rooted in our core beliefs about ourselves and the world around us. With approximately 60,000 thoughts per day and about 90% of them being repetitive, our persistent self-talk creates neural pathways in the brain, solidifying these thoughts into habitual patterns.
Why do we have Negative Thoughts?
Negative thoughts are an evolutionary trait designed to keep us safe — much like our flight, fight, freeze, and dissociate responses. Our ‘lizard brains’ use them to alert us to potential threats, assist in learning from mistakes, and aid in problem-solving.
Unfortunately, our lizard brains can’t tell the difference between real danger, something shitty happening, and something that triggers memories of past threats or unpleasant experiences. As such, habitual negative thinking can lead to a downward spiral creating a cycle of negative thoughts, emotions, and unhelpful behaviors.
Things to remember about Automatic Negative Thoughts
- These thoughts are always negative and critical and make us feel unworthy and inadequate.
- They are uninvited.
- Caught in a downward spiral of negative thinking, we often accept these thoughts as truth.
How I have started to reframe them
Recognizing the thought
As my negative thoughts are often triggered by specific events, identifying the source/why I’m feeling a certain way is usually easy. However, this can be difficult if I’m in a downward spiral and my brain is firing off every negative thought it can. In these moments, I’ve learned to take a step back, pause, take a breath, and ask myself what’s wrong.
For me, it’s usually something like:
- I made a mistake — I’m stupid and a failure,
- Someone’s angry with me (or I misunderstood something) — they hate me
- I think my boyfriend’s energy has changed — he doesn't love me anymore. It’s a cycle of self-criticism and negative assumptions.
This is an accurate outward representation of what my distorted version of reality looks like.
Identifying the distress level
Everyone’s scale is different. Mine is ‘on a scale from one — to — I feel like I want to cry, throw up, and pull my hair out all at the same time — how am I feeling right now?’
I wish the hair-pulling thing was a joke, but it’s a result of Trichotillomania, a condition where I compulsively pull out my hair as a way to cope with extreme stress.
Identifying the cognitive distortion
Cognitive distortions are irrational and exaggerated thought patterns that our minds believe are true. You can read more about them here. My common distortions are:
- Jumping to Conclusions — where I know exactly what others are thinking without any evidence
- Catastrophizing — where I anticipate the worst outcomes in situations that are out of my control.
Challenging and reframing my thoughts
I have learned that challenging my thoughts doesn’t mean dismissing my feelings — this has taken me years to learn.
I know now that I can feel sad and unloved, without being inherently unloveable and that doing something stupid means I did something stupid and that’s it. My goal now is to stop a downward spiral of negative thinking while acknowledging and respecting my emotions.
I do this by asking myself the following questions regarding my negative thoughts:
- Why do I think this?
- Is this thought helpful?
- Why do I believe this?
- Do I have evidence that contradicts this thought?
Reevaluating my distress level
By challenging and reframing my thoughts, I can reevaluate my distress level. This process helps me gain a more balanced perspective on my emotions and reduces the intensity of my negative reactions.
What I have learned since I started challenging my negative thoughts
It’s easier to acknowledge a thought without creating a downward spiral.
Now, if I do something stupid, it’s easier for me to say “That was stupid” and move on.
A recent example of this shift was when I noticed that the cog of my watch was broken. My initial reaction was to berate myself:
“You’re so clumsy, you always break things. Of course, you’d break it RIGHT AFTER you replaced the battery!”
This time, however, I interrupted the negative spiral with a more rational conversation:
“Ok, the cog of your watch broke, I’m sure you’ll be able to get it fixed”.
It’s easier to troubleshoot and problem-solve:
When things are out of my control, I used to shut down and overthink, dwelling on the worst-case scenario. I still do to some extent, but it’s now easier for me to challenge my thoughts and find a solution.
A recent example was what I was going to do with the stuff I wanted to keep while traveling as I was moving out of my flat. I was stressed about it for weeks and didn’t want to deal with it. Then one evening a thought crossed my mind:
“You could put your things into a storage unit.”
The solution seems obvious now, but I overlooked it because I was overwhelmed by negative thoughts and emotions.
The way I talk to myself has fundamentally changed
in the past, I used to employ what I call ‘Tough self-love’ to deal with negative thoughts and feelings of overwhelm.
I’d say shit like
- “Get the fuck out of bed!”
- “Pull your shit together”
- “What the fuck is wrong with you?!”
To get me unstuck. Sure, it worked to some extent as it gave me the motivation I needed to get moving, but I’m now more compassionate and understanding towards myself. This has given me room to make mistakes without harsh self-criticism. This shift has helped me navigate life’s challenges with a healthier mindset.
Conclusion:
Thank you for taking the time to read this article. I hope that it creates a positive shift in your thought patterns and helps foster a healthier relationship with your mind.
If you also encounter negative thoughts, I’d love to hear about your strategies for dealing with them. Let’s share our experiences and support each other on this path to greater mental well-being 💖
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